Saturday, 29 October 2011

He continues to live..

Bleak sunlight slides under the curtains and creeps up to my eyes. I smile realizing I`m waking up to live my yet another favorite day of the week: Saturday. Surprisingly,Saturdays are the only days on which I`m up BEFORE my mother has to barge in my cluttered-with-clothes room to drag me out of heaven.

I sit upright in my bed for a whole fifteen minutes, registering my feelings and trying to comprehend them. Yes-it is one of the mornings you wake up with a sinking feeling in my chest.
' Oh anyway,not that I`d let any of these diabolical feeling ruin my perfect Saturday.' I say out loud, my voice a stranger to my own ears,I gather my dark hair in a hasty ponytail and make my way to the bathroom.

For some unknown reason, I do not want the deliciously warm water to ever stop running over my silhouette. It`s tickling and soothing sensation...
But I still fight over my desire and opt for a more sensible idea of getting out of the shower soon. After half an hour, a dripping and cleaner me walk out of the bathroom and dress up in five minutes. Literally.  Not casting a second look at the outfit I`ve decided to wear today ( Now really,this isn`t normal. Not normal for me anyway.) I brush my hair while they are still wet, half-heartedly, not bothering to blow dry, my raven black eyes fixed on my reflection. There is something missing on that face... the usual flicker in my eyes,maybe?
'Nothing a nice eye make-up couldn`t fix in just a swish of magic wand!' I chirp, trying to cheer myself at the prospect of cosmetic. But my fake smile soon transform into a frown.
'I cannot pretend this anymore...'
My shoulders slumped in disappointment, I walk out to sit on the balcony. It is still silent outside,the atmosphere misted in thick fog. I listen intently to the rustle of the palm trees and the singing of birds, wondering what the following hours of the day holds in surprise for me.

Heaving a sigh, I remove the elastic band from my hair, letting the free strands fall loosely around my oval face, my mind playing dreadful flash-backs of last night... How I`ve walked all the way to Drake`s house, eager to surprise him with my blog post about him. And how he`d opened the door, welcoming me in with a faint smile instead of the usual peck on my cheek.I`d sensed something wrong right then,but I`d discarded my instincts, dreading he might slam the door shut on my face.
But he has been courteous enough to let me in. That darling Drake of mine... so there was still a flicker of hope alive.
He pulled me in a cuddle next to him on a couch, touched my hair with gentle strokes, his nose buried in my hair.. I rested my head on his chest, and closed my eyes, inhaling his sweet scent, suddenly feeling drowsy all over again. I could have remained in that state of sheer bliss forever... if only I had it under my control.

And then he pulled my from him. A little taken aback, I wore an expression of utter confusion, when he chose to break the awful news to me.

'We can`t be together,baby.'

'But..but why?!' I stammered, not believing my ears.

'Please don`t ask questions.' He requested with a stone-face.

I immediately pursed my lips together, adamant to not ask any question anymore and spare myself that much dignity. My eyes welled up with tears and I could feel a lump in my throat.

'And please don`t look so hurt...' He said again, with evident emotion in his voice that time.
I stared at his face vaguely through my tears, shaking my head slowly in disbelief. He reached out for me but I pushed him away from me. It had taken my entire will power. Then, somehow, managed to make it back to my home. I had refused to dwell on that episode like a loser, and bravely succeeded in blocking him out of my mind..

But it is all coming back now.. I cry in utter defeatism, warm tears strolling down my cheeks...
How can he possibly do something as sadistic as that to me? To whome he vowed life-long devotion? I question myself helplessly,unable to stop myself from crying...

'Honey?' I`m disturbed by a sharp knock on the door. It`s my mom, eyeing me suspiciously with concern.
I look up, not wiping my tears away, my wet cheeks exposed to air.

'Martha. She`s on the phone... she wants to talk to you.' she informs,handing me the phone.
Martha? she`s Drake`s mom,by the way. Why would she want to talk to me? Doesn`t she know that me and him splitted up?
Attacked by another flood of confusion, I receive the phone from my mom with a smile of gratitude.

'Martha?'

'Sasha..you`ve got to make it to the National Hospital immediately!' a troubled, familiar voice exclaims.

'Huh? why?' I exclaim back.

'Drake wants to see you.' comes a brief reply.

'Drake? what has happened to him?!' I screech in her ear.

'Just get here as soon as possible.' and then I hear the dial tone.

I`m standing alone, next to Drake`s bed, hypnotized. His mom has just dropped a mountain for the news on me.
'He`s suffering from brain tumor.'  The words won`t stop echoing in my ears, making fun of me.
I sit on a chair placed near, and takes his hand in mine. I marvel at the discovery that it has gone surprisingly light.

'I want to be strong for him..! Do not fail me...' I silently beg my tears...
But it`s hard.. Impossible not to cry seeing your beloved chained to the bed, just not by chains but by drips and various wires. Several needles were mercilessly pierced in his skin, making me cringe at the sight..

'I`m not strong..' I mumble, finally letting my tears fall free. That`s when I feel his weak fingers squeeze my hand. He`s struggling to open his soft, brown-hued eyes. I place my one free hand on his pallid cheek, caressing his hand encouragingly with the fingers of the other. And finally he looks at me... A gush of fresh tears threatens to over-flow... But I smile through my tears. My heart aches for him... the doctor told me that he`s not left with much time..

'I must have done something really wrong to deserve this..' I blame myself with a pang of regret mingled with my voice.

'You are a perfect angel. God has great things in store for you.' Drake speaks almost in a whisper. I lean closer to listen to his melodious voice, close enough to preserve it in my memories after he`s gone...

'I love you.' He says the three magical words, music to my deprived ears. His lips are dry and dearth of colour,but I answer with a kiss- my mouth meeting his in the most tender, rapturous, generous caress. He responds me with such passion that I`m catapulted to a place of blissful abandon. I want him so bad...

'You promised to stay with me for the rest of my life... Please stay.. Keep your promise, Drake,just this once...' I beg like a three years old.
Tears slide down his rough cheeks now. God, I must be horrible. I made him cry! I wail silently,hating myself for that act of sin.
He clasps my hand tightly in his, brings his head closer to my ear and speaks,
'If only I could, Sash.. there`s nothing I want more... I`ll stay with you forever...you are free to love again..I`d be the happiest soul to see you happy... I just wanted to see you for the last time with the eyes of a mortal..'
My lips tremble and I rest my head on his, massaging his hair with my fingers, refusing to let him go..

So this was the surprise... I realize,my eyes heavy from all the crying.

'Drake...I...' I starts to talk but breaks in between. His eyes were close and his angelic face radiated innocence and peace... and he had long seized to breath...

I plaster a final kiss on his cheek and traces the frame of his face with my finger... he`s still here with me... I know he is.

20 comments:

  1. What a lovely post.Love it so much.

    Thanks for your comment.


    Follow back.

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  2. OMG, that was so good and so sad. You remind me of me, the way you detail things out...

    Love stories should be happy but they aren't that way always, harsh reality comes back and hits you in the face:(

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  3. What a lovely story of love ending tragically; leaving sweet memories.
    It touched my heart.

    Great post.

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  4. ZOMG !! .. Was tht really written by you? :P :O Haha i know it was ..
    Looks like your story .. The way you described Sasha's feeling so accurately, naturally :)

    Loved this post !!
    PS. I love your new layout a lot ! :D

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  5. Izdiher: Aw,thanks! And nah,commenting on your blog was personal pleasure (:

    Just followed you back! <3

    PeeVee: Yeah,that`s precisely what I thought when I visited your blog yesterday. I mean,the way you write and this addiction to chocolate-it totally got me thinking if we were sisters separated at birth :D

    Thankyou so much for such a great comment <3

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  6. Tariq Mian: Thanks a million,this means a lot to me coming from as great and experienced blogger as you (=

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  7. Bubbles! <3 My favorite kid on the block-oh,I mean,blog :P
    Hahaha,yeah it really IS written by me (= Aw,thanks,everyone keeps saying that :$ I`m totally flattered ^_^

    I love you from each and every fiber of my heart. Mountain high and ocean deep :| :D

    Thankyou! I know! I love it too! xox

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  8. Hahaha .. ! Aww, see you said something true by mistake :DD
    I just KNEW it was written by you, only it felt like an excerpt from a book :D Really.
    OMG, awsheome quote !! Lovee youu tooo, Pretty :D :P I'll have to think for a minute or two to make up a reply to your sentence... :/

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  9. Nah-really,when I wrote 'block',I still meant it in a good way,except then I realized it isn`t really a street we`re living on but blogosphere,so I used the other term instead (: It wasn`t a mistake-it was a joke! :D

    Now that`s a huge compliment :')

    Hehehe,think,and think fast :P

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  10. ♥! its damn awesome...it made me cry!...OMG!the brilliant blog....this blog was outstanding!i read this 3 and i really burst into tears!em" speechless about this blog!i beg dun stop writing blogs!BEAUTIFUL!the best apart was the way you describe the feelings when Sasha was in hospital wid Drake!I felt that I am their ,watching with my own eyes!AMAZING!KEEP IT UP!

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  11. Wow, that's one of the best things I've ever, ever, ever read!Why does it keep reminding me of Edward and Bella though?:S:P Ah-mazing post!Can't wait for the next one! :)

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  12. wow.. you have nice blog, and that was a nice read =) thumbs up dear!

    *following you now =)

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  13. It was long but I really loved reading it :)

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  14. Thank you all for such great comments! <3 xx

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  15. Wow.

    You have got some really good writing skills.
    Kudos.

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  16. Lol you have tons of promise Hun x) and you'll probably be a super super writer, just don't forget us little people when you get famous xDDD
    So remember to check what you write for grammar mistakes just in case, you don't want to spoil the flow of your wonderful story!

    - cheers!

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  17. Awesome people like you can never skip my mind (:
    Thanks for the lovely advice! I AM kind of weak when it comes down to grammar :$

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  18. Really love your Blog. Love the way you Describe the feelings. ^_^

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Why don`t you also leave a super yummylicious comment while you`re upto it,eh? I love your comments more than anything! ^_^